I don't know

I find that I don't post when I'm upset or angry. Rather, I usually write a song instead and as much as I'd like to rant here, these are thoughts that are best left inside and spoken instead of written. I am often overly emotional or overreacting when things happen. Perhaps it is because I am an extremist, perhaps it was the way I was brought up, or perhaps there really just that many things wrong with me.

But I will summarize for the curious: I spent the day with my parents out in Oakville and Woodbridge, went shopping, got snarled at, went home, got on the computer, got snarled at some more, talked on the phone, got snarled at, went back on the computer, got snarled at. Nice day eh? On the plus side, I did pick up 2 more black tank tops, I should have one for each day of the week now, but if not, I'll just pick up some more. Randomly talked about nothing in particular. Went to bed, woke up, had a headache. Whatever, if some bad shit happens to me, I deserve it anyways.

I'm a mess, a wreck, I'm fucked up, and I'm worn thin. I started writing another song. Here's part of it:


Another Day


The lights turn down low
Watching as the doors slam into frames
And there's no one left around
It's closing time
Listen as the music fades
Trapped within this hell, like I'm trapped within myself

I --
I can't find a way,
To lift the shadows that surround me
I can't find a way,
To carry on just another fucking day
I can't find a way,
To stop me now from turning inside out
I can't find a way,
To carry on just another fucking day


What is it to you?
Will you be there when there's no here?
Do I even matter now?
Or am I just --
Another toy for you to play?
Trapped within this hell, like I'm trapped within myself
If you want to hate me, then hate me
If you want to hurt me, then break so I can end this misery

I --
I can't find a way,
To lift the shadows that surround me
I can't find a way,
To carry on just another fucking day
I can't find a way,
To stop me now from turning inside out
I can't find a way,
To carry on just another fucking day



Its not complete yet. And As I have no idea why I'm even posting anything since I don't particularly feel like it, I'll quote myself to end this post.

"At the end of the day, the only thing that hasn't deserted me yet has always been and always will be my music"




~Damon