Monday, November 08, 2004

why do parents have to be so annoying?

Long day, I know. In fairness, I should be in bed right now but I'm being pestered so I can't exactly sleep. This is what I hate, I'm tired as shit, I get home and I just want to rest and relax. What I don't want is to be pestered and asked 30 million questions about this, that and the other. It seems to be common practice for people to ask me questions. I hardly ever do the asking, it's always other people that do the asking. Why is it that I put up with it? I don't know. I keep asking myself the same question over and over again. The reason I have to put up with it? I don't have a job, I can't find a decent paying job that will pay for rent, as well as pay partial tuition. It would be nice to find a job as, say, an assistant technical writer, it'd be not only good for references, but it'd also be good for pay.

People get annoyed when I don't talk to them. What do you expect from me? My days are long and tiring. I'm usually exhausted to the point where I don't even know how I'm standing. Don't roll your eyes at me when I don't respond. It's 1am, fuck. I'm tired, I'm cranky, I'm in pain from my joints and as a result of all that, I'm easily irritated. Everything irritates me, but I still don't usually show it.

All the emotional and mental stuff is starting to boil over and taking its toll on me physically. It's one thing to be able to deal with it all, but it is an entirely different matter when what you're trying to deal with is entirely too much. I know I complain a lot, and I know I bring a lot on myself, but I complain because it's another way to vent. Hell, most of the things I complain about aren't even things that matter. All the stuff that really matters, I try to do something about rather than complain, because by the time I'm done complaining, I could've done something about it already.

Anyways, must try to sleep, chiropractor first thing in the morning.



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